According to the New York Times’ story revealed by Tara Parker-Pope, showing a little compassion for yourself, and extending yourself the same amount of kindness, as well as forgiveness that you offer to your family and friends can be the initial step to live your life filled with happiness and success.
In your entire existence here in the world, how many times you messed up and made mistakes for the things you thought right but for others it is not enough and not the best you can do?
“You are a big piece of crap! How did you miserably end up like that? Is there anything you can do right aside from this stupidity?”
Or, how often you reflect yourself, feeling disgusted, feeling exhausted of the stress brought by life, and telling things against your being?
“You’re true stupid! What mess you are about to deal today? You’re perfectly imperfect to fit to this world. Don’t make another move or else you’ll be scolded again.”
Show What Yourself Deserves
Negative reflection and self-talk commonly happen when worse things repeat day by day. In some point of time, we cannot avoid to do a self-talk, which is harsh and critical, leading us to feel depress, unworthy and anxious. Stop doing this to yourself, leave all your insecurities behind and have compassion. The studies manifested that using shame, anxiety and guilt as your motivator for negative self-reflection can be ineffective and harmful to your feeling of self-worthiness. When you want to spread love for others, start doing it in yourself, so you will identify its true essence.
When you are showing yourself love and talk the way you converse to your down-and-out pal, you can have a chance to activate the areas in your brain, which control the feeling of being cared of, encouraged and nurtured, according to Science. If a nice talk to yourself is the key to a happier and successful life, then why don’t you do it so you can impart it with others too?
Self-compassion can help maintain your own standards. In addition, it can help you reach your goal, have success in your pursuits, and increases the feelings of your well-being. So, how can you build a practice to extend compassion and self-acceptance for yourself? The secret there is awareness of your inner critic while taking small paces to challenge criticisms it unleashes.
- Change your own self-talk
- Create an everyday practice that can help remind you about the good and right things within you
- Begin to notice times if you are criticizing yourself
It may be awkward to build self-love from the very beginning because you’ll be pushing yourself against the old and stubborn mindset, which has become your default setup of your brain for a long time. However, with the right practice, at the end, being lovable, kind and appreciative towards yourself will allow you to have a happier, successful and more fulfilling life. And that is what everybody wants, right?